A reader asked: "Our 30-something son has been seriously dating a smart, capable woman for more than a year. They seem very happy; they recently moved in together and are talking about their long-term future, including the possibility of having children. She fits in well with our family and is a good influence on our son. We support them and would like to encourage their relationship, but my spouse and I are concerned about something.
Our son has a history of problem gambling. A couple of years ago, he gambled away a windfall of more than $250,000. Since then, he goes through periods of abstaining from gambling only to start up again. In the last year, his habit led him to draw on a line of credit as well as dip into his tax- sheltered retirement savings account.
We have offered to pay for counseling to help him manage this addiction. When we insisted that he attend, he did so, but when we stopped insisting, he stopped going. We have also offered to cover the cost of an intensive, residential treatment program for gambling addiction. He has declined that offer.
We have suggested to our son that his partner should be informed of his addiction. We feel she has a right to know this about him, because it has the potential to impact their future together. It seems plausible that an ongoing gambling habit is likely to affect his credit score and ability to meet his financial commitments. He is adamant that he does not intend to tell her about his problem. He often seems to believe that he has a handle on this situation, but in the past couple of years, he has not gone more than a few months without gambling.
Because he has refused to tell his partner, do we have an obligation to let her know"
Our son has a history of problem gambling. A couple of years ago, he gambled away a windfall of more than $250,000. Since then, he goes through periods of abstaining from gambling only to start up again. In the last year, his habit led him to draw on a line of credit as well as dip into his tax- sheltered retirement savings account.
We have offered to pay for counseling to help him manage this addiction. When we insisted that he attend, he did so, but when we stopped insisting, he stopped going. We have also offered to cover the cost of an intensive, residential treatment program for gambling addiction. He has declined that offer.
We have suggested to our son that his partner should be informed of his addiction. We feel she has a right to know this about him, because it has the potential to impact their future together. It seems plausible that an ongoing gambling habit is likely to affect his credit score and ability to meet his financial commitments. He is adamant that he does not intend to tell her about his problem. He often seems to believe that he has a handle on this situation, but in the past couple of years, he has not gone more than a few months without gambling.
Because he has refused to tell his partner, do we have an obligation to let her know"
